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YOU ARE
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GLOBAL
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Everything that I think is worth knowing, after 15+ years of travel –– from airline alliances to virtual mail.
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I’ve taken about 1700 French classes and now here’s all the French I wish I had learned...
I’ve taken about 1700 French classes and now here’s all the French I wish I had learned...
Français 1
You spoke French once, but that was when you were 8 years old singing Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi. You still say Ooh là là when you're impressed, but haven't learned that most French people say it when they're annoyed. And you didn't know that hors-d'œuvres was a French word (or spelled like that). Your name might as well be Emily, cuz every time you go to Paris, your French is as basic as that beret you bought in the metro for €5.
Real-life
scenarios
A-Z
French
Course
French
Course
Learn to speak like you, not like a textbook.
We cover all the standard grammar you need to form coherent sentences, but also nonstandard street slang you wouldn’t learn elsewhere (because your teacher would get fired).
I’ve taken about 1700 French classes and now here’s all the French I wish I had learned...
I’ve taken about 1700 French classes and now here’s all the French I wish I had learned...
︎︎︎
︎︎︎
Français 2
You can understand French when someone speaks at 0.01 mph, which is approximately...no one in France. You've studied French, so when you're in Paris, your friends expect you to understand even the most muffled metro announcement (and you can't).
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If someone asks you to order at a restaurant, your voice still gets soft and shy so the server knows you've studied French enough to be respectful but not long enough to come at you speaking like zjsuzjsüzjszhjzsé after all you said was, "Je prends un verre de vin, s'il vous plaît."
If someone asks you to order at a restaurant, your voice still gets soft and shy so the server knows you've studied French enough to be respectful but not long enough to come at you speaking like zjsuzjsüzjszhjzsé after all you said was, "Je prends un verre de vin, s'il vous plaît."
A-Z
French
Course
French
Course
Learn to speak like you, not like a textbook.
We cover all the standard grammar you need to form coherent sentences, but also nonstandard street slang you wouldn’t learn elsewhere (because your teacher would get fired).
Real-life
scenarios
I’ve taken so many Spanish classes and always felt like there was a better way to teach the material...
︎︎︎
Español 1
“Puedo ir al baño” is all you can remember from high school (and that’s great, because it’s probably the most useful phrase anyway).
You secretly miss putting upside down ¿ all over the place, writing haha as jaja, and being referred to as your Spanish name which was probably Carmen or Diego. From one gringo to another, por favor let me help you with that Spanish.
You secretly miss putting upside down ¿ all over the place, writing haha as jaja, and being referred to as your Spanish name which was probably Carmen or Diego. From one gringo to another, por favor let me help you with that Spanish.
A-Z
Spanish
Course
Spanish
Course
Learn to speak like you, not like a textbook.
We cover all the standard grammar you need to form coherent sentences, but also nonstandard street slang you wouldn’t learn elsewhere (because your teacher would get fired).
Real-life
scenarios
I’ve taken so many Spanish classes and always felt like there was a better way to teach the material...
︎︎︎
Español 2
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You can understand bits and pieces of a Rosalia song, but you also realize not even native Spanish speakers can understand her. Your trilled R no longer sounds like a croaking frog. You're still a gringo, but a respected one at the very least.
A-Z
Spanish
Course
Spanish
Course
Learn to speak like you, not like a textbook.
We cover all the standard grammar you need to form coherent sentences, but also nonstandard street slang you wouldn’t learn elsewhere (because your teacher would get fired).
Real-life
scenarios
Let's not act like your first words in French weren't “Voulez vous coucher avec moi?” (Do you want to sleep with me?). This workshop is for those who are trying to dabble in foreign tongues - both in French and in people - and need to know juicier vocabulary than just "un croissant, s'il vous plaît."
︎︎︎ 19 Pages of Key Vocab
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Flirting
All the boring conversation starters people will use on dating apps, plus how to be smooth with sentences like "Wait, you look really familiar? Do we know each other from somewhere?"
Falling in Love
How to ask someone to marry you, how to call your boo "babe," and then how to break up with them shortly thereafter.
F*cking
All the words your French teacher would have been fired for: what to say before sex, during sex, and after sex.
︎︎︎ 1 Hour Workshop
In this guide:
︎ How to Flirt, Fall in Love, and F#ck in French (19 Pages)
︎ Putting the romance in romance language (3:23)
︎ La sexualité & the art of sédick, I mean -duc, tion (11:07)
︎ "Tu cherches quoi" & Other ways to kill le mystère of romance before it even starts (12:02)
︎ Slightly cringy, but kinda cute words to call your "partner" (5:41)
︎ Sparks are flying...no really my Electricity provider just called me. The male equivalent of mistress? / Will you "spouse-me?" (4:16)
︎ How to piss me off in French: Ask me "tu fais la gueule?" (3:27)
︎ Vagina is masculine. Dick is feminine. (3:31)
︎ French Foreplay 101 & Jean Paul Gaultier sent me a condom (4:41)
︎ "J'ai envie de toi" and other sentences that will get you all HOT and bothered (5:45)
︎ Ça fait mal & other things to say when it's just not good (2:33)
︎ Doctolib & How French health care work (3:14)
︎ Getting tested, la pharmacie, & pregnancy tests (10:20)
Learning French is one thing. Learning how the French really speak is another.
With a few quick vocabulary switches and native expressions you should probably know, we'll get your French sounding even more...well, French.
︎︎︎ 11 Pages of Key Vocab
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︎︎︎ 1 Hour Workshop
In this guide:
︎ Survival Guide to French Small Talk & Awkward Situations (11 Pages)
︎ Why you're so nervous (1:30)
︎ It’s been so long! How are the kids? (5:31)
︎ C'est clair & C'est chaud - how to not be stuck saying Je comprends all the time (5:59)
︎ No joke, no lie, no cap (7:37)
︎ How to leave a conversation when it’s boring (4:23)
︎ There is no good translation for the word "awkward" in French (5:01)
︎ Speaking on the phone (2:49)
︎ When you're approached by an activist on the street asking you to donate 1 cent to save the world (3:40)
︎ How to survive a French soirée: Just learn the lyrics to Désenchantée (9:32)
︎ Stop reducing yourself with "Je parle pas bien français" cuz yes, you do (5:03)
You Are
a Global Citizen
As a travel vlogger, the bulk of my twenties were spent abroad - backpacking in countries from Belgium to Brazil and mastering foreign tongues along the way, both in languages and men.
These experiences have left me with many conclusions, but one in particular: we have guidebooks for world destinations, but none for the one destination that is there no matter where we go: ourselves.
Book tour
Jan/Feb ‘22
Sold out
NY The Strand BOSTON Porter Square Books NY Meatpacking SoHo House NY Travel & Adventure Show Convention MIA Books & Books LA Barnes & Noble The Grove
PARIS Smith & Son Rue de Rivoli
LONDON Standford’s
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